Meet the Team
by SuperSmasher123
Summary: Meet the large cast of characters I made for another story I have planned. Each chapter will focus on one character. So sit back and enjoy as you read about these messed up mercenaries.
1. Meet the Aggron

**Hello everyone!**

**This is what I decided how to introduce the characters for another Pokémon story I have planned. Every chapter, I will introduce a new character and showcase their abilities, backstory, and personality.**

**Note: There are going a lot of references to Team Fortress 2 (I play things other than Nintendo, you know). All of the characters fall under one of the nine classes from there (Scout, Soldier, Pyro, Demoman, Heavy, Engineer, Medic, Sniper, and Spy). In fact, the first nine characters I'm introducing are directly based on those nine classes and their chapters are going to be parodies on their own Meet the Team video made by Valve.**

**Also, the enemies they are fighting may be different. Some chapters have the mercs fighting Shadow Pokémon, while others have them fighting robot versions of themselves.**

**Also, every paragraph is a different scene. **

**Here is our first Pokémon mercenary, based on the TF2 Heavy:**

**Name: Ivan Mikhail Gorbachev**

**Species: Aggron**

**Gender: Male**

**Class: Heavy**

**Appearance: He's 2 feet taller than the average Aggron (6'11"), making him almost 9 feet tall. He wears a red or blue shirt under a black vest. He also wears a bandolier of bullets for his Minigun.**

**Personality: Like the Heavy, he is normally a gentle giant, unless provoked or in battle. He is very enthusiastic on killing whoever it opposing him. He also tends to talk to inanimate objects, specifically, his miniguns and his food. He also doesn't speak English too well. He's also smarter than most first think. Being one of the largest and tallest of the team, he feels that has to protect his teammates and deeply cares for them (especially the Medics and Engineers).**

**Notable Family Members: None **

**Name Origin: Ivan was the name of several Russian tsars. Mikhail is the official first name of the Heavy. Mikhail Gorbachev was the name of the leader of the Soviet Union at the end of the Cold War and the one that ended Communism in Russia.**

**Edit: I forgot to mention that he talks in a Russian accent and that I now fixed this to incorporate it in his dialogue.**

**Disclaimer: I only own my OCs.**

* * *

**Meet the Aggron**

Ivan walks toward a table holding one of his miniguns. He sets the giant gun on the table and then sits down in a chair. "I am Heavy Veapons Guy." Ivan said before pausing. "...and **_theese_** ees my veapon." he continues as he grabs the handle. "She weighs one hundrred feefty kilogrrams and firres two hundred dollar, custom-tooled cartrreedges at ten thousand rrounds perr meenute." Ivan continues as he lays both hands on the gun before pausing again. "Eet costs fourr hundrred thousand dollarrs to firre thees weapon... forr _tvelve seconds_." he said while looking intently at the camera.

Ivan is laughing about something a short story his was telling before pausing to calm himself.

Ivan is inspecting the muzzle of the gun and sees scratches on it. "Oh my God, who touched Sascha?" he says quietly. "Alrright..._**Who touched my gun!?**_" he shouts as he gets up.

Ivan is now answering a question about his intelligences. "Some people theenk they can outsmart me. Maybe... ...maybe." he said. "I've yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet." Ivan continued as he held out a bullet.

We now see Ivan in a snowy mountain area, firing his minigun at oncoming Shadow Pokémon. "Waaaaahhhhh! Uwaaaaaaah! _**Ahahahahaha!**_ Crry some morre!" he shouts as he decimates the invaders. Some of his teammates are also there, helping him out in taking down the Shadow Pokémon.

The screen goes black. "Heheh, crry some morre." Ivan says off-screen.

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**And there's your parody of Meet the Heavy. I hope you've enjoyed this.**

**Next chapter will be a parody of Meet the Soldier. Guess what Pokemon I'm using for this one.**

**As they say in Russia, do svidaniya!**


	2. Meet the Blastoise

**Hello everyone! **

**One thing I forgot to mention, you're probably wondering why would these Pokémon need to use weapons. And if you're not, I'll fill you in anyway. The Shadow Pokémon are resistant to most Pokémon attacks. The robots aren't, but, to them, it's more fun to use weapons instead of their attacks. Plus, they use their moves in conjunction with their weapons anyway. **

**Here is our next Pokémon mercenary, based on the TF2 Soldier:**

**Name: Solomon John Doe**

**Species: Blastoise**

**Gender: Male**

**Class: Soldier**

**Appearance: He wears a dark red/light blue soldier helmet as well as a red/blue military uniform jacket with fatigues. He also has a belt with a few pouches containing ammunition and a bandolier holding two grenades.**

**Personality: Unlike the Soldier he's based on, Solly here actually was in the military and fought in actual wars. However, he is insane and overly patriotic. Like most war veterans, he has developed post-traumatic stress disorder, which just adds to his insanity. Though it doesn't affect his current job as a mercenary too much, it sometimes causes him to go on a violent rampage. He does receive treatment for this, though.**

**Notable Family Members: None**

**Name Origin: Solomon comes from the Hebrew word for peace (which is ironic). John Doe is a placeholder name for a man whose true identity is unknown. This is a reference to the TF2 Soldier being called Mr. Jane Doe, which is the placeholder name used for women.**

**Disclaimer: I only own my OCs.**

* * *

**Meet the Blastoise**

A robot Charizard is shown running its flamethrower before getting blown up by rockets. Elsewhere, a robot Hydreigon gets blown up as well. In another location, a robot Golurk gets blown up while making a finger gun near the camera.

Solomon is now giving a lecture to supposedly new recruits. "'If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!' Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a _little_ more about fighting than _you_ do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor." he said.

Switching to a battlefield scene, Solomon is screaming while hitting his shovel against his helmet. He then charges at a robot Heracross who he killed with his shotgun. The missed grenade the robot shot explodes in the background. A robot Gardevoir appears on a ledge behind Solly and starts shooting psychic-enhanced syringes. "To the left!" said a Golem, warning Solomon of the ambush. "Maggots!" Solomon shouts as he blows the robot up with rockets fired from the cannons on his back. A Medicham slides down a ladder with her sniper rifle. "Right up! Right up!" she said. "Go! Go! Go!" said Ivan as he joined in the charge.

Going back to the drill lecture, Solomon is continuing his nonsensical story of the Pokémon world's equivalent of Sun Tzu. "And then he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat and then he beat the _**crap**_ out of every single one." he said while using the grenades on his bandolier as puppets.

Back to the battlefield scene, Solly is running before hearing his teammate warn him of a sentry gun. "Sentry up there!" the Gengar warned. Solomon turned the corner to see a robot Mawile trying to repair its sentry. "Dang nabbit!" it said trying to reload the turret. Solomon shot a rocket at the sentry, destroying it and the robot while the blast launched the Blastoise on to a higher platform. Solomon then launches a rocket that managed to destroy a robot Tyranitar and a robot Ninetales. Solomon then drops down to reload. A robot Banette uncloaks behind him to backstab him, but Solomon noticed this and smacked the robot in the face with his shovel.

Back to the "lecture", Solomon starts laughs a little. "And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a '_**zoo'**_!" he said right in the face of a recruit. He then backed up and the camera switched perspectives to show that the "recruits" where actually the severed heads of the robots Solly just destroyed the battle prior standing on a fence. The head of a Gardevoir robot falls off the fence. Solomon then crouches to talk to the head that just fallen. "Unless it's a farm!" he says to the head.

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**I hoped you all liked this one. **

**Next is the Meet the Engineer parody.**

**See you then!**


	3. Meet the Mawile

**Hello everyone! **

**Here is our next Pokémon mercenary, based on the TF2 Engineer:**

**Name: Alexia Conagher **

**Species: Mawile**

**Gender: Female**

**Class: Engineer **

**Appearance: She wears a construction worker's hard hat and wielding goggles that cover her eyes. She has a red/blue bow tied between her large horn-jaw thing. She wears a red/blue shirt under a denim dress with overalls. Both her hands are covered by yellow working gloves. On her waist is a belt with pouches where she keeps ammo, metal, and a pistol if she's carrying one. **

**Personality: She's one of the more sane characters I made. She's soft-spoken, well-liked, and very intelligent. She's quite fond of machines and is kind of a tech nerd as well as a gamer in her spare time. **

**Notable Family Members: None**

**Name Origin: Alexia is a feminine form of the name Alex, which comes from the Greek word meaning "to help" or "to defend". Conagher is the last name of the TF2 Engineer, which in itself is a reference to the book _Conagher _by Louis L'Amour.**

**One last thing, Alexia talks in a Texan accent. If I make any mistakes trying to incorporate her accent in her dialogue, it would be appreciated, especially if you just so happen to have a Texan accent yourself, if you gave me some pointers in the reviews or PM. **

**Disclaimer: I only own my OCs.**

* * *

**Meet the Mawile**

Alexia is sitting on a crate playing an acoustic guitar. She has a sentry as well as another crate with her wrench, her shotgun, and a kill counter to her left. On her right is her dispenser and another sentry. "Hey look, buddy, Ah'm an Engineer. That means Ah solve problems." she says to introduce herself. A few sniper rifle bullets miss her and hit the truck behind her. "Not problems lahke "What is beauty?", because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy." she continued. Two more shots miss her head and the Mawile glances at them for a second. "Ah solve practical problems." she said before talking out a bottle of water and taking a few gulps. One of her sentries also manages to kill a robot version of Ivan. She puts the bottle on the crate and continues to play her guitar while her kill counter goes up.

"Fr'instance..." she said before looking to the side to see a robot Cradily about to snipe her before it gets killed by a sentry. "...How am Ah goin' to stop some big mean mother hubbard from tearin' me a structurally superfluous new behind?" she continued. "The answer?" she says while a sentry kills a robot Hawlucha. " ...use a gun. And if that don't work... ...use more gun." she said as a sentry on a cliff fires rockets on a faraway foe. She stops playing to see a robot Sceptile get blown up. It's last words were "My arm!". Said arm happened to land next to Alexia.

"Lahke this heavy caliber, trahpod-mounted, little ol' number desahgned bah me..." she said as she kicked the robot arm and the sentry to her left shoots it. "...Built bah me..." she continued as the sentry to her right kills a robot version of Solomon. "...and you'd best hope... it's not pointed at you." she finishes as the camera zooms out, showing all of her victims and the oncoming army of incompetent robots she's decimating.

* * *

**I hoped yo****u all liked this one. **

**Next is the Meet the Demoman parody.**

**See y'all then!**


	4. Meet the Heracross

**Hello everyone! **

**Here is our next Pokémon mercenary, based on the TF2 Demoman:**

**Name: Thomas Nobel DeGroot **

**Species: Heracross **

**Gender: Male**

**Class: Demoman**

**Appearance: He has a eye patch covering his left eye (he lost it in an explosion). He wears a black armor vest, which holds three grenades on each side. Underneath the armor is a red/blue long-sleeve shirt. His body is also a bit darker than most Heracross.**

**Personality: Trained how to wield swords and explosives, he comes from a family of warriors that combine old traditions of the days of yore and modern-day war tactics. He's also a heavy drinker (Surprising, he's not addicted. Drinking is just a family tradition.) but he can control himself even when drunk. When sober and not in battle, he's usually a pretty friendly guy. **

**Notable Family Members: Timothy DeGroot (Pinsir, Father), Emma DeGroot (Heracross, Mother)**

**Name Origin: Thomas was a common name in the Middle Ages. It came from the Greek form of the Aramaic name meaning "twin". Alfred Nobel was the inventor of dynamite. DeGroot is the official last name of the TF2 Demoman.**

**He speaks in a Scottish accent, so his speech is full of errors as I want to incorporate in his dialogue. If I mess up his accent or any of my other character's accents, just tell me in the reviews or something.**

**Disclaimer: I only own my OCs.**

* * *

**Meet the Heracross**

Thomas is running through a corridor, avoiding mass explosions before jumping out and the camera freezes.

Thomas is now in the explosives vault. "What makes me a guid Demoman? If Ah waur a bad Demoman, Ah wooldnae be sittin' haur, discussin' it wi' ye noo woods Ah?" he says as he begins to talk about how dangerous his job is.

Thomas and his teammates are leaving their base, charging into the battlefield. "Let's dae it!" he shouts as his battle cry and charges. "Not a body ay ya's gonna' survife thes." he said as he runs.

Back to his interview scene, he's still discussing how his job is dangerous. ""Ain crossed wire, a body wayward pinch ay potassium chlorate, a body errant twitch... an' kablooie!" he said.

Switching over to the battlefield scene, he launches a grenade that hits and blows up a robot Magmortar. He then sees a sentry being build. The scenes then constantly switching between Thomas swigging down a bottle and him running to the sentry. It stops switching when he blows up the sentry with a few grenades.

Moving back to his interview, he slams the now empty bottle on a table. "I got a manky yak. A'am a black, Scottish cyclaps." he says, clearly drunk. "They've got mair f-[censored by SOPA]-s than they've got th' likes ay me." he said before realizing that he's in an interview. "Sae..." he says while looking into the camera.

Back to the battlefield clip, Thomas is running only to see five robots charging at him. These robots were of a Tyrantrum, a Blissey, a Lucario, a Kingdra, and a Greninja. In the background, Thomas voice from his interview is heard during the battle clip. "...T'aa ye braw dandies sae prood, sae cocksure. Prancin' abit wi' yer heids foo ay eyeballs! Come an' gie me Ah say! I'll be waitin' oan ye wi' a whiff ay th' 'ol brimstain. A'am a greem bludy fable... wi' an unhappy bludy end!" he says as he lays a sticky bomb trap for his chasers. He detonates them as they are about to catch up to him. As the robot's parts start raining, Thomas picks up one of the robot's heads. "Oh, they're gonnae hae tae glue ye back together... in heel!" he says to the head.

* * *

**I hoped yo****u all liked this one. **

**By the way, the censored part from the Meet the Demoman script is "fecking sea monsters in the great Lochett Ness they've got the likes of me." I just left it censored since I couldn't come up with anything better to replace it.**

**Next is the Meet the Scout parody.**

**See ye aw 'en!**


	5. Meet the Blaziken

**Hello everyone!**

**Something else I forgot to mention, if a character is a species that can Mega Evolve, they do have the Mega Stone needed. I'm still figuring out how to include Mega Evolution here. **

**Here is our next Pokémon mercenary, based on the TF2 Scout:**

**Name: Nathan Adams**

**Species: Blaziken**

**Gender: Male**

**Class: Scout**

**Appearance: He wears a black baseball cap with a headset and microphone. He wears a red/blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He carries a black messenger bag. Lastly, he has army dog tags around his neck. **

**Personality: He's cocky, mischievous, and a bit of a chatterbox. He's a huge baseball fan and is also athletic (not to mention a lightning fast runner).**

**Notable Family Members: Nora Adams (Blaziken, Mother)**

**Name Origin: Nathan is Hebrew for "he gave". Famous colonel Americans John Adams and Samuel Adams were from Boston, where the TF2 Scout also happens to be from.**

**He speaks in a Boston accent, so his speech has errors as I want to incorporate in his dialogue. If I mess up his accent or any of my other character's accents, just tell me in the reviews or something.**

**Disclaimer: I only own my OCs.**

* * *

**Meet the Blaziken**

Nathan and a few of his teammates see Shadow Pokémon in a nearby building. When they all start charging, Nathan easily outruns his teammates. He manages to dodge everything the corrupted Pokémon throw at him as he runs and jumps all over the place, flanking them left and right, taking them out with his Scattergun or a good Blaze Kick to the face. Two Shadow Pokémon, a Blastoise and a Delphox, start chasing him. The Blastoise launches shadowy Hydro Pumps while the Delphox uses a shadowy Flamethrower. Nathan manages to cross a train station platform as the train comes and runs over the Shadow Pokémon.

Now, we have Nathan walk in a blank room and he starts talking. "Um... I dahn't even know whehe to staht with you. I mean, do you even knahw who you'ahe tahlkin' to?" he says.

Switching scenes, we see a Shadow Aggron inspecting a sandwich. Nathan then taps the creature on the head with his aluminum bat. "Yo, whaht's up?" he said.

Back to the interview, "D-Do you hahve _ahny ideah_, ahny ideah who I ahm?" the cocky Blaziken says.

Switching over to the fight, Nathan is dodging punches being thrown by the Shadow Aggron and both are yelling.

Going back to the interview in front of a green screen, "Bahsicahlly - kind of ah big deal!" Nathan said.

At the fight scene, Nathan is trying to strangle the Shadow Pokémon with his bat.

Back to Nathan talking, Nathan is flexing his arm. "Oh mahn, thaht's beautiful. Heh!" he says as he's flexing his scrawny arm.

Back to the fight, the corrupted Aggron has the Blaziken in a headlock.

Cutting back to the interview, "Yah' listenin'? OK. Grahss grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brothah'- I hurt people." he says as he pokes the camera, leaving a small scratch from his claws/talons.

Cutting back to the fight, Nathan manages to land a Blaze Kick on the Aggron's stomach. "BOINK!" he said as he landed the kick.

Back to Nathan, "I'm ah foahce ah' nahtuahe!" he continues.

Back to the fight, Nathan hits the Shadow Pokémon in the face with his bat. "BONK!" he says while doing this.

Switching back to the interview, "If _you_ weahe from where _I_ wahs from, you'd be freahkin' deahd!" he said.

Back to the fight, Nathan is climbs up some platforms as the corrupted Aggron lays on the ground, reaching for the sandwich on the ground. Nathan then jumps and slams the Aggron in the head with his bat. "WOOO!" he said as he was doing this. He then picks up the sandwich, sits down on the dissolving corpse of his enemy and starts snacking on his prize.

* * *

**I hoped yo****u all liked this one. **

**Next is the Meet the Sniper parody.**

**Also, I'd begin to add each character's bios on my profile and explaining them a little more.**

**See you ahll then!**


	6. Meet the Ampharos

**Hello everyone!**

**Here is our next Pokémon mercenary, based on the TF2 Sniper:**

**Name: Artemis Mundy**

**Species: Ampharos **

**Gender: Female**

**Class: Sniper**

**Appearance: She wears a slouch hat, sunglasses, red/blue shirt under a black vest, and a quiver holding arrows. **

**Personality: She's quiet, patient, and a kind of cold to others due to how much time she spent alone. She doesn't have the best relationship with her parents as they don't approve of her job (even though she's fought and still fighting in a war). She bit warm up to her teammates is also one of the semi-sane ones.**

**Notable Family Members: Diana Mundy (Kangaskhan, Mother), Max Mundy (Ampharos, Father), Apollo Mundy (Ampharos, twin brother, deceased) **

**Name Origin: Artemis was the goddess of the moon and the hunt in Greek mythology. Mundy is the official last name of the TF2 Sniper.**

**Disclaimer: I only own my OCs.**

* * *

**Meet the Ampharos**

A van is shown driving down a desert road. Inside the van, a bauble head sits on the dashboard. A "hand" comes in and flicks the head. "Boom. Headshot." said a voice is head offscreen.

Artemis is shown driving the van, talking about her job. "Snipin's a good job, mate. It's challengin' work, outta doors. I guarantee you'll not go hungry-" she said as she's driving. The camera then switches to a scene showing her brushing her teeth. "-'cause at the end of the day, long as there's two people left on the planet, _someone_ is gonna want _someone_ dead." she says.

The scene switches to her rifle scope. The scope shows a robot Kangaskhan firing away but then gets headshot. The bullet also happens to break a bottle behind the robot. One of the glass shards land in the single eye of a robot Heracross (who's based on Thomas who only has one functioning eye). The robot, unable to see, starts shooting grenades randomly before falling and blowing itself up.

Artemis is then shown talking on the phone, arguing with her dad. "Dad? Dad, I'm a- Ye- _Not_ a "crazed gunwoman", dad, I'm an assassin!" she tells her dad. Her dad is heard saying "What's the difference?" "...Well, the difference bein' one is a job and the other's a mental sickness!" Artemis replies.

Back to her driving, she says "I'll be honest with ya: my parents do _not_ care for it."

She is then climbing a tower to get a good view of the battlefield. At the top, she thinks someone saw her. "I think his mate saw me." she said. Some bullets are seen flying in her general direction. "Yes. Yes he did!" she says as she ducks.

She is then shown camping in one spot. Drinking coffee to past the time until finally shooting.

Using one of her swords, she stabs a robot Lopunny through its chest.

Back to her in the van, she is explaining why she is usually cold to others. "Feelins'? Look mate, you know who has a lot of feelings? Blokes that bludgeon their wife to death with a golf trophy. Professionals have _standards_." she said.

She then takes her hat off in respect for the robot she just killed. "Be polite." she said.

She is then shown getting a headshot on a robot Audino, a robot Feraligatr, and a robot Chandelure in quick succession. "Be efficient." she said.

She then aims for the camera. "Have a plan to kill everyone you meet." she says as she shoots the camera.

Back to her argument over the phone, Artemis is asking to talk to her mom (who is more accepting of her job). "Dad... Dad p-, yeah - put Mum on the phone!" she said.

* * *

**I hoped yo****u all liked this one. **

**Next is the Meet the Spy parody.**

**Also, I'll be gone for a week, and unless I can get access to a computer while on vacation, there will be no updates.**

**See you all then!**


	7. Meet the Scizor

**Hello everyone!**

**I'm back from vacation. Disney World was awesome and all, but it's nice to be back home.**

**Also, I'd like to talk about another set of characters, the Gray team. My characters are based off of the RED and BLU team mercs. In TF2, the Gray team are robots and they only appear in Co-op mode. Here, they're the enemy team and each of them have something to settle with the original nine (the first nine characters I'm writing about). Seven of them are male (their Medic is female and their Pyro's gender is unknown.) and use similar weapons and equipment than the nine, but gray-colored. Here's what species they are:**

**Scout: Ninjask**

**Soldier: Braviary**

**Pyro: Heatmor**

**Demoman: Electrode**

**Heavy: Snorlax**

**Engineer: Porygon-Z**

**Medic: Blissey**

**Sniper: Octillery **

**Spy: Zoroark**

**I'm not sure if I should give them names or not, but this is the first time they're appearing, so might as well talk about them.**

**Here is our next Pokémon mercenary, based on the TF2 Spy:**

**Name: Lucas Espion**

**Species: Scizor**

**Gender: Male**

**Class: Spy**

**Appearance: He wears a red/blue suit and tie with dress shoes. **

**Personality: Like the spy he's based on, he's a mystery. Some notable traits are that he's sneaky, conniving, deceitful, quiet, and usually deadly serious, but he does soften up for his teammates and friends.**

**Notable Family Members: None**

**Name Origin: Lucas is the Latin form of the name Luke, who was the author of Third Gospel in the Bible. Espion is French for "spy".**

**Disclaimer: I only own my OCs.**

* * *

**Meet the Scizor**

The alarm system in the Gray base. "Intruder Alert! A RED Spy is in the base!" it said. The Braviary Soldier watching saw the words "Intruder Alert", "RED Spy", and "In Base" light up on the numerous monitors. "A RED Spy is in the base!?" was his reaction. He then grabbed a shotgun from off the wall and ran to their secret vault. "Protect the briefcase!" the security system said. "We need to protect the briefcase!" the Braviary said. When he got to the door, he saw one of his teammates, a Ninjask, trying to open the door. "Yo, a lil' help here!?" he says. The Braviary pushes the Ninjask out of the way. "Stand back, son." he said as he put in the passcode. He wondered why the Ninjask didn't know the passcode. He shrugged it off as the Ninjask was their newest recruit and he probably forgot. "1, 1, 1, umm... **1**!" he said as he put the passcode in. "Let's go, let's go-" the Ninjask said before being cut off by their Heavy. "INCOMING!" the Snorlax said as he charged through the door, pushing his teammates with him. Everyone stopped screaming after seeing that their secret documents were still safe. "Hey, it's still here." the Ninjask said. "All right then." the Snorlax said. A voice is then heard at the entrance of the room. The three Pokémon turned around to see their Spy holding the corpse of their Sniper. "Gentlemen?" the Zoroark said.

The Zoroark then walks to the briefcase with the documents."I see the briefcase is safe." he said. "Safe and sound, mm-hmm." the Braviary said. "Yeah, it is!" the Ninjask said. "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?" the Zoroark said. The others shake their heads. "No? Then we still have a problem." he said as he puts the dead Octillery on the table, showing that he had been backstabbed, still having the knife in his back. "...and a _knife_." the Braviary added. "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like you!" the Ninjask said as he toke out the knife and play with it, only to end up cutting himself. "Ow! No offense." he said as he dropped the knife. "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were _not_ like me." the Zoroark said as he picks up the knife and closes it properly, handing back to the Ninjask."And nothing... _nothing_ like the Pokémon loose inside this building." he continued. "What're you? President of his fan club?" the Ninjask replied. The Braviary and Snorlax chuckle as the Zoroark turns around. "No... that would be _your mother!_" the Zoroark said as he toke out some pictures from his suit pocket. He then slams them on the desk. The pictures show Lucas and the Ninjask's mom (who happens to be a Scizor) doing some naughty things that I won't explain as I want to keep the rating at T. "WHAT THE?! WHEN- WHEN DID HE?! AHHHHHH!" the Ninjask shouted in reaction to seeing the pictures. "Indeed, and now he's here to **** _us_! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the _second_ worst thing that happens to you today." the Zoroark said. Meanwhile, the Snorlax and Braviary are looking at the photos. The Ninjask, embarrassed and angry, snatched the photos from them. "This Spy has already breached our defenses..." the Zoroark continues.

Lucas is then shown running through a tunnel only to hear the beeping of a sentry. He takes out a sapper and tosses it at the sentry. After the sentry explodes, Lucas runs at the Porygon-Z. "Sentry Down!" the Porygon-Z said as he reached for his pistol, but got shot in the head by Lucas's revolver. The dead Porygon-Z's body crashes into the door and Lucas stepped out of the door and fired two more bullets at the Gray Pyro and Demoman.

Back at the vault, the Zoroark is still talking. "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!" he says as he motions over to the dead Octillery. Lucas is then shown at a watch tower, about to backstab the Octillery. The Octillery sees him and tries to shoot him with his sniper rifle. Lucas kicks him into the wall and the Octillery grabs a machete. He then starts slashing at him but missed and Lucas manages to slash the Octillery's face. The Octillery then lunges at Lucas, only to miss, get backstabbing, and fall down the stairs.

Back to the vault, the Zoroark is still talking. "And worst of all, he could be any one of us." said the Zoroark. Lucas is then shown fighting the Gray Medic. The Blissey attacks Lucas with a saw, but he dodges and breaks the Blissey's small arm with his claws. He then disguised as the Blissey right in front of her. The Blissey is speechless as Lucas slits where ever her throat would be, causing her glasses to fly off of her face. Lucas grabs them and puts them on, completing the disguise.

Back to the vault... "He could be in this very room!" said the Zoroark. "He could be _you!_" he said as he points at the Braviary. "He could be _me!_" he said as he points to himself. He could even be-" he said before getting shot in the head by the Braviary. The Snorlax and Ninjask are both shocked. "What? It was obvious!" the Braviary said as he pumped the shotgun, discarding the spent shell. "He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..." the Braviary said as he and the Snorlax walk up to the corpse to investigate it. "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait... that's blood." the Braviary said. "So, we still got problem..." the Snorlax said. "Big problem..." said the Braviary. The Ninjask then takes out the knife and flicks it open easily. Once behind his "teammates", he flickers and melts, only to reveal himself of actually being Lucas in disguise. "All right, who's ready to go find this Spy?" the Braviary says. "Right behind you." Lucas says. The screen fades to black as Lucas stabs the Braviary and Snorlax to death. He is then shown picking up a photo of the Ninjask's Scizor mother and himself walking into the sunset. "Ahhh... moi petit cho-fleur." He says as he puts the photo into his suit pocket and casually walks out of the base with the briefcase in claw.

* * *

**I hoped yo****u all liked this one. **

**Also, the Grays aren't dead. They respawn like the other mercs. Respawn will be explained later.**

**Next is the Meet the Medic parody.**

**See you all then!**


	8. Meet the Gardevoir

**Hello everyone!**

**Here is our next Pokémon mercenary, based on the TF2 Medic:**

**Name: Victoria Faith Engel**

**Species: Gardevoir**

**Gender: Female**

**Class: Medic**

**Appearance: She wears a blood-stained lab coat and red/blue rubber gloves. Under her lab coat, she wears a red/blue tie and a white blouse. She also wears glasses as well as combat boots. **

**Personality: She's sadistic, clever, and clearly crazy. At first, she became a doctor to satisfy her "curiosity" of blood and organs. She does have a soft spot for her family and teammates. In fact, she even build a machine that, with special crystals from Xerneas and Yvetal, can bring all of them back to life after they die (And that's how Respawn works.)**

**Notable Family Members: Charity Engel (Kirlia, older daughter), Hope Engel (Ralts, younger daughter), Vincent Heilburg (Gallade, twin brother), Richard Engel (Reuniclus, husband, deceased) **

**Name Origin: Victoria is the Latin word for "victory". Faith means "to trust". Engel is German for "angel".**

**Disclaimer: I only own my OCs.**

* * *

**Meet the Gardevoir**

On a hill, an Absol and a Dusknoir are running from a horde of Shadow Pokémon. The Absol has a black eye and bandages on her paws. The Dusknoir is in a wheelchair and has a skull and arm cast. "Move cyclops, move!" the Absol says as she runs. A shadow attack lands near her and the splash damage knocks her on the ground. As she gets up, she sees a bunch of shadow attacks headed straight for her. "Whoah! What the f-" she managed to say before she got launched into the air and crashed into a window. "Medic..." she manages to say before falling off the window.

Inside the building, Victoria is preforming an operation on Ivan. His chest is wide open, exposing his organs to the cold air of the abandoned hospital. Victoria isn't wearing her lab coat nor her gloves. Her hands, which are covered in blood, are holding Ivan's heart. A beam from one of Victoria's Medi-Guns is keeping Ivan alive. "Oh-hoh-ho no more!" Ivan said as he is laughing from one of Victoria's stories. "Vait, vait, vait, it gets better." said Victoria."Vhen the patient voke up, his skeleton vas missink, and the doctor was never heard from again!" She continued as she starts laughing too. "Anyvay, zat's how I lost my medical license, heh." she said as she calmed down. Ivan stopped laughing and started looking a bit concerned. A Ralts then pops out of the Aggron's chest cavity, surprising both of them. "Hope! No!" the Gardevoir said as she picked up the Ralts and placed her on a table next to her older sister, who was sitting there, playing video games. "It's filzy in zere! Eugh." she says to the Ralts before going back to Ivan.

"Children." she says to him as she chuckled. She then grabs a small heart device that has a label that says "Uber". "Now, most hearts couldn't visstand zis foltage," the Gardevoir said as she plugged the device into the heart and puts in in the Medi-Gun beam. "...but I'm fairly certain your heart..." she says before the heart explodes from the voltage. A chunk of the heart manages to hit Hope and knock her off the table. "Vat vas noise?" Ivan said in concern. Victoria removes what's left of the heart from the Uber device. "Zee sound of progress, my friend." Victoria replied.

Victoria then walks over to a microwave-like device, presses a few buttons, and a new, much bigger heart comes out. "Ah, perfect..." she says as she grabs the heart. A Ditto in a special jar is sitting next to the microwave-like machine. "Kill me." the Ditto said. "Later." Victoria responded. "Where was I? Ah, there we go." she said as she jams the Uber device into the heart and holds it to the Medi-Gun beam. "Come on, come on..." she says as the heart starts beating. It starts flashing red and blue as Victoria starts manically laughing. Ivan laughs nervously. As the Uber Meter on the device got to 100%, she stopped laughing and leaned away from it, expecting it to explode. Seeing as it didn't, she dropped the heart into Ivan's chest. "Oh, zat looks good. Fery nice zere." she said. Ivan stares at the heart. "Should I be avake forr this?" he said. "Ah heh. Vell, no, heh. But as long as you are, could you hold your rib cage open a bit?" she replied. Ivan grabs a rib and Victoria starts to push the heart in. "I can't... seem..." she says. Ivan then screams in pain as he accidentally ripped out one of his own ribs. "Oh, don't be such a baby..." Victoria says as she grabs the rib. "...ribs grow back!" she said as she tossed the rib over her shoulder. She then walks over to her two daughters, who seem to now be watching their mother's procedure. "No they don't." Victoria whispers to them. Victoria then grabs the Medi-Gun and switches it to full power. As if by magic, the beam seals Ivan's chest and sews his clothes back together. Ivan, looking impressed, breathes in deeply. "What happens now?" he asks. Victoria then helps him up. "Now? Let's go practice medicine..." she answered.

Victoria is shown putting on her lab coat and gloves and grabbing her Medi-Gun. She then walks out of their makeshift base with Ivan. On the battlefield, she sees the Dusknoir rolling himself toward her. "Medic!" he yells as an attack launches him to the ground. Victoria then actives her Medi-Gun, instantly healing the Dusknoir of his injuries and he ripped of the casts and went back into battle. She then aimed at the injured Absol. Her wounds healed instantly as when as she jumped up and ran up to a Shadow Pokémon, giving it a good Night Slash to the face. Ivan then sees a horde of Shadow Pokémon headed straight for them. "Doktorr! Are you sure these vill vork?!" he yells. "Ha ha ha, I have no idea!" She yells back. She then flips a switch on her Medi-Gun. A special beam comes out of the barrel and Ivan jumps in front of it. The beam activates the Uber device in his heart and causes him and Victoria to glow bright red. "EYAAAAAAAAAH!" Ivan yelled as he felt a surge of energy coursing through his body. The two start charging, Ivan shooting his minigun and laughing. A Flygon and a Wobbufett stare at them, bewildered. Every attack the Shadow Pokémon launch at the two simply plicks off of them. "I am bulletproof!" Ivan yells. The Shadow Pokémon horde starts falling apart as Ivan is slowing mowing them down like grass. The two then climb the pile of corpses as Victoria strikes a heroic pose on the top and the Ubercharge ends.

After the battle, everyone is waiting to get their Uber operation. Alexia is playing video games, Lucas is removing any lint on his suit, a Charizard is reading a magazine, Thomas is drinking alcohol, Solomon is standing, and Artemis is drinking coffee. Voices could be heard inside the operating room as Nathan is almost done with his surgery. "That looks good. Very nice there. Yes!" Victoria is heard saying. "Hey, thanks doc!" Nathan is heard saying. The Blaziken opens the door and everyone looks at him. "Awhawhaw, man! You would not BELIEVE ... how much this hurts." he said. "Hey! It's dark in here!" a muffled voice is heard inside his chest. "Hope?" both Victoria and her older daughter, Charity say.

* * *

**I hoped you all liked this one. **

**Next is the Meet the Pyro parody.**

**See you all then!**


	9. Meet the Charizard

**Hello everyone!**

**Here is our next Pokémon mercenary, based on the TF2 Pyro:**

**Name: Unknown (will be referred to as Pyro) **

**Species: Charizard**

**Gender: Unknown (will be referred to as both he and she)**

**Class: Pyro**

**Appearance: Pyro wears a flame retardant suit, gloves, boots, oxygen tank, and gas mask that covers his entire body excluding her wings, claws, and the tip of his tail. She also has a bandolier holding three napalm grenades. **

**Personality: Only two things are known for sure about the mysterious Pyro: he sets things on fire and he doesn't speak. In fact, only the part about setting things on fire is undisputed. Some believe his occasional rasping wheeze may be an attempt to communicate through a mouth obstructed by a filter and attached to lungs ravaged by constant exposure to his asbestos-lined suit. Either way, he's a fearsome, inscrutable, on-fire Frankenstein of a man. If he even is a man. (This was taken straight from the Pyro's bio on the TF2 website.) **

**Notable Family Members: None**

**Name Origin: Pyro does not have a known name.**

**Disclaimer: I only own my OCs.**

* * *

**Meet the Charizard**

Pyro is seen walking to an old building with an axe in hand. There is all kinds of debris on the ground.

We then see Ivan in a dark room, talking about Pyro. "I fear no man. But that... _thing_... it scares me." he says.

Back to Pyro, the Gray team are hurrying into their makeshift base. The Porygon-Z closes the door on the Ninjask, who struggles to open it. Pyro's muffled breathing can be heard.

Now, we have Nathan talking about Pyro. "No, I... I ain't, I ain't talking about that freak. All right?" he says. He then turns around panicking, thinking Pyro is nearby. "He's not here, is she?" he says as he tries to remove his microphone. "How do I get this freaking thing off?!" he says as he gets up and accidentally walks into the camera.

An Electrode is shown hiding in a corner as Pyro breaks down the door, Flame Thrower ready.

Next of Pyro's teammates to talk is Lucas. "One shudders to imagine what beastly thoughts lie behind that mask..." he says before pausing. "...what dreams of chronic and sustained cruelty?" he continues.

Pyro is then shown burning the wooden base and the building around it. The camera then zooms into one of his eyepieces. Now, let's see what she sees.

In Pyro's point of view, the land is like something out of a little girl's imagination. There are flowers, candy, and toys everywhere. Pyro's own equipment looks different to him. Her flame thrower looks like a combination of several brass instruments and instead of fire, shoots rainbows. The flame on his tail is also rainbow-colored. Her napalm grenades are bongos and his oxygen tank is a music box-like device and the song "Do You Believe In Magic" is being played through it. Pyro laughs as she spreads his rainbows everywhere, spreading joy wherever she goes.

In the dreamscape, a baby Munchlax is shown eating a giant sandwich and sees Pyro and starts running to him. Pyro then grabs a giant lollipop and skips to the Munchlax. In reality, Pyro is hits the Gray Heavy in the head with an axe. Back in "Pyroland", a baby Nincada flies to Pyro and lands on her "rainbow thrower" and Pyro pulls out a bubble wand and blows bubbles in its face. In the real world though, Pyro shot a flare right in the Gray Scout's face. Back to Pyro's perspective, he sees a Happiny pop out of a present, only to go back inside. Pyro then runs up to the gift and closes it properly. Meanwhile, in reality, Pyro is using an axe to block a door, trapping the Gray Medic as she sets her and the shed she's stuck in on fire. "NO!" the Blissey screams before screaming in pain and fear as she is consumed by the flames.

Back in Pyroland, Pyro is continuing to spread his rainbows as her best friend, Ballonicorn appears and a baby Porygon and Zorua jump on it for a ride. Once on, Ballonicorn starts to follow Pyro to join the other baby Pokémon. But in reality, the Gray Engineer and Spy get caught in the explosion of a sentry as a piece of the sentry hits the Gray Soldier. The Gray Demoman is seen lying on the ground, on fire. "I'm burning!" he says as a call for help. The Gray Scout is trying to flee, on fire as well. A dispenser and teleporter are heard being destroyed in the background. The Porygon-Z is heard saying "Dispenser down!" before he dies. The Gray Sniper falls off a building and lands next to Pyro. The Octillery then grabs Pyro's ankle. "HELP!" he says. Pyro then looks down at him and shoots his flame thrower right in his face. The Octillery's screams could be heard as Pyro simply stares and tilts her head as the flames a reflected in his eyepieces.

Back in Pyroland, Pyro is cheerfully dancing into the sunset, knowing she did good. Back to reality, the town is still burning. The Gray team's charred corpses are everywhere. The Gray Soldier is the only one still alive. He has a giant hole in his torso and his heart is in his wing. He clutches his no longer beating heart and dies. Pyro is walking out of the burning town, admiring his work while whistling "Do You Believe In Magic".

* * *

**I hoped yo****u all liked this one. **

**This is the last of the TF2 parodies, but we are far from the end. There are still a ton of characters I have to show you all. Because of this, I'm going to have to come up with some more original stuff for the rest. I hope you enjoy them as much as you enjoyed these parodies.**

**See you all then!**


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